meditation update

You may have read in an earlier post that I was attempting to meditate every day for the month of April. While that did not happen, I did practice enough meditation to affirm that it can truly be a beneficial addition to daily life. Its tough to separate the effects of meditation from the natural ebb and flow of anxiety, but I believe that even after this short period of practice I now feel more calm and present. Beginning meditation may have been a life-changing action for me.
I found three free meditation podcasts on iTunes. They were mostly guided breathing and attempts to shepherd the listener into a relaxed mental state. Let me say this: its really hard at first, but gets much easier. I tend to be a naturally anxious person, and sitting still and focusing on breath seemed nearly impossible to me. I was able to do five days straight while staying in the islands (blogged the previous posts,) which was a spectacular start and nice beginning association for my practice. One podcast was particularly helpful in reiterating that meditation is a period in which one can be non-judgemental, even in one's own inability to meditate. (Deep Rest Guided Meditation by Meditation Island.) Its silly how easy it is, and how resistant I can be to practicing. Meditation should be one of the most inviting and immediately gratifying uses of time, but frequently I don't want to stop the mental tangents and swirls in my head and sit in quiet. I've found the more frequently I've been practicing, the easier it is to purposefully enter a relaxed state without actually doing the work. But if I haven't really focused on meditation in a few days or more, finding that zone proves more elusive.
Anyway, its difficult to express these ideas because: a. I don't really know what I'm trying to say, and b. its so intangible. Here is the most concrete example I can think of. I love riding my bike. I lived by Prospect Park in Brooklyn for many years, and rode the spectacular loop at least once a week after work during fair weather seasons. I always thought this would have a relaxing effect, and would try and sometimes leave the park disappointed that I did not feel noticeably different. This is because I was seeking tangible benefit, not simply experiencing the ride. A slight shift in perspective creates an entire new reality, and I look forward to continuing my practice.